


Time to make a change

by StormyBear30



Series: Time to make a change [1]
Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Music RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 06:33:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A diagnosis that changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time to make a change

“What the hell is this meeting all about Shannon?” Jared questioned as he breezed into the studio, falling heavily onto the couch next to his brother. “What the fuck man?” He cried out even louder when Shannon just sat there with a confusing look upon his face. 

“Shannon…” Tomo said his best friends name softly, lying his hand on his arm in show of support because he could tell by the look on Shannon’s face that what he had to say was going to be anything but good news “You had an appointment this morning…does this have anything to do with why you asked us here?” 

“Yeah…” Shannon replied with a nod, swallowing hard before taking a deep breath because he knew what he had to say next was not going to go over well with either of them. “You know how I stopped smoking a while ago?” He asked as he got up off of the couch and walked across the room because he needed a moment to clear his thoughts. 

“Nasty fucking habit…not sorry to see it gone” Jared shot back, checking his phone when it chimed in his hand. 

“Do you think you can leave that fucking thing alone for five seconds” Tomo yelled at Jared as he snatched it out of his hand and threw it across the couch. “Shannon’s trying to tell us something and I think that is more important than whoever the fuck that is” He had tears in his eyes as he ignored the evil look Jared shot his way because he already knew it was serious at the tears also present in Shannon’s eyes as well. “Are you sick?” He blurted out because he couldn’t stand the wait any longer. 

“Throat cancer” Shannon told them, but Tomo heard nothing else as the world around him began to weave in and out, the word cancer playing over and over in his mind as he tried to wrap his head around what he had just heard. Once his head cleared a little he watched as Jared seemed to be making plans on what course of actions they were going to take. He needed air as he slipped out of the room because he felt as if he were suffocating. “You ok?” He heard Shannon’s voice behind him as he sat aside of the pool looking up at the heavens and wondering why something like this had to happen to someone who meant so much to him. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He attempted to speak normally, but the lump of pain making it sound anything but. “Oh god Shannon” He whispered, the tears once again pouring down his face. 

“It is what it is” Shannon replied with a sad shrug. “I guess I should have listened to Jared and gave them up a long time ago” He tried to laugh it off but the seriousness of the situation and the sad look on Tomo’s face prevented him from taking it any farther.

“How long have you known?” Tomo asked, forcing back the tears but his bottom lip still trembling despite his effort to stop it. 

“Awhile” Shannon replied as he sat down next to Tomo on the lounger he was sitting on. “It started out with a tickle in my throat about a year ago but I didn’t think anything of it. The cough started after that and again I didn’t think anything of it because I was a smoker after all, but when I kept waking up with sore throats and my lymph nodes were swollen and painful I knew I had to go get it checked out. They didn’t think it was anything to be concerned about at first and they sent me home with antibiotics but when it started to get worse they ran some test and it came back as cancer. They felt they caught it early enough that I would only have to do the chemo treatments and it seemed to help for a while but then the sore throats and the swelling started up again so now they want me to have surgery” 

“Chemo treatments…how is that possible since we’ve been traveling the fucking world for ages now?” Tomo questioned angrily as he glared at Shannon because he couldn’t believe that he had kept something as important as this to himself. 

“It’s amazing what you can do with modern medicine” He shrugged again. “I had to wear this little machine that administered the chemo and I had to make sure that I went to a hospital once a week for readings and testing. Piece of cake” Shannon grinned trying to ease the tension but failing miserable at the pissed off look on Tomo’s face. 

“You think this is funny Shannon?” Tomo yelled, getting up from the chair before he punched the man sitting next to him. “You keep something like this from Jared and me for almost a fucking year and yet you act as if it’s nothing” 

“I’ve already heard it from Jared I don’t need to hear it from you too” Shannon shot back in defense because at the time he thought he had been doing the right thing by keeping it from them. 

“We would have been there for you…we would have helped you. Well I guess this explains the reason you stopped playing with your shirt off…and why you’ve lost so much fucking weight. I mean Jesus Christ Shannon…what the fuck were you thinking keeping this away from me…from us” Tomo corrected quickly as he turned to face the pool so Shannon couldn’t see his face. The sobbing came without warning as he crouched down in front of the pool and cried his broken heart out. 

“Tomo…” Shannon cried out in surprise as he rushed over to his friend and pulled him into his arms. 

“You can’t be dying Shannon because I love you too much and I need you in my life” Tomo continued to sob as he clung to the man he was in love with. “All these years we’ve been fucking and I kept telling myself that I was going to tell you how much I was in love with you but then when the time would come I would get nervous and chicken out because I always thought there was going to be more time. I want you to know now that I love you…I love you so fucking much and no matter what I am going to be by your side” 

“No…” Shannon said, shaking his head angrily as he pushed Tomo away from him. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you and Jared” He yelled as he walked away from Tomo because the need to pull him into his arms fall apart was way too great. “I don’t need your fucking pity…I don’t want your fucking pity” 

“You think I told you that because I pity you?” Tomo cried out after him in shock and in anger. “I was in love with you long before I even joined this band and with each year that has passed I’ve fallen deeper and deeper in love with you. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was so afraid of how you would react because you pretty much made it known from the first time that we slept together that it was nothing more than two lonely friends fucking. I didn’t tell you I love you because I pity you…I told you because it’s the truth and I want to be there by your side as your lover and your partner. If you don’t love me back Shannon then just fucking tell me that you don’t…but don’t you dare make me look like an asshole by declaring my love for you is because of pity” 

Shannon had no words as he watched the man he loved as well practically deflate in front of him when he said nothing. “Tomo…” He cried out when Tomo turned and stormed back towards the house. 

“This is all too much for me to deal with right now. Forgot I said anything. I’ll still be there for you but I need some time to work through everything that’s just happened” 

“Tomo…” Jared said his name softly when they met in the hallway as he ran for the front door. 

“Just don’t say anything please” Tomo begged as he grabbed his keys off of the table he always placed them on when at the Leto’s house. “I know you heard me and I just can’t deal with what you think on the situation on top of everything else. I’ll call you guys later” He cried out over his shoulder as he rushed out the front door.

“Do you need anything?” Jared asked Shannon softly as he walked out onto the patio and found his brother sitting on the side of the pool staring into space. 

“Did you know?” Shannon ignored his question as he continued to stare at the sky. 

“That Tomo was in love with you…of course I did and I know that you love him too” He replied as he rolled his pant legs up and sat beside him. “I never understood why you never told him how you felt because you had to know he’s been head over heels in love with you since forever” 

“You interfere in every aspect of my life and yet for this you stay quiet” Shannon shot back, glaring at his brother for a moment before looking upwards once again. 

“You’re not going to blame your stupidity on me big brother” Jared replied as he swung his legs back and forth in the water. “Yes…our lives are pretty heavily intertwined but when it comes to our love lives and our sex lives we’ve managed to keep those separated. You can’t believe how much I wanted to beat both of your heads in when it was obvious to everyone around us how much you cared for each other” 

“I was scared” Shannon finally gave up the pretense as he looked over at Jared. “I had convinced myself that it was just fucking…that he didn’t feel anything for me because I didn’t want to deal with being in a relationship with a man and all the shit that comes with it and yet now I could give to shits about that. I’ve fucked up so badly and now there is a good chance that I could die and all that time worrying was for fucking nothing” 

“You are not going to die from this Shannon…not as long as I’m around” Jared cried out in determination. 

“I know you’re a control freak Jay but this you can’t control” Shannon replied with a sad smile as he laid his hand on Jared’s shoulder. 

“The fuck I can’t” Jared roared as he pulled Shannon into his arms and held onto him tightly. “I’ve already called Brent and asked him to find the best doctors on the planet. I don’t care where we have to go or how much it fucking cost we are going to do everything in our power to beat this” 

“You called Brent?” Shannon asked in shock, recalling years prior when Jared and the once thought love of his life got into a huge fight and ended their six year relationship. Shannon never knew for sure what the break up was over and hadn’t pushed his brotherf or answers because it truly was the one aspect of their lives that the other wasn’t part of. “Jared you didn’t have to do that” 

“Of course I did because you are my brother and you mean more to me than anything else in the world” Was Jared’s reply against his neck when he was pulled back into a hug. “I fucked things up with Brent because I felt my career was more important but now I see how stupid that was” 

“You’re going to try and get back together with him aren’t you?” Shannon asked with a smile as he pulled back and looked at Jared. 

“It’s been a lot of years and there’s been a lot of hurt but I’m going to do whatever I need to make him see that I still love him and that we belong together” Jared grinned as he pulled his legs out of the water and stood up. “You should do the same with Tomo. You know he loves you because of you and not because of this stupid disease. Go to him and make him believe that you belong together no matter what and then we are going to kick this cancer’s ass together” 

“Thanks bro” Shannon sniffled as he hugged his baby brother. “Love you man” 

“Me to…now get the fuck out of here” Jared shot back as he pushed his brother away when in fact he wanted to hold him close and never let him go. 

“Hi…” Shannon said as Tomo stood before him. 

“Hey…” Tomo replied nervously as he stood in the archway of his apartment. 

“Can I come in?” The shorter of the two asked when the silence around them became extremely uncomfortable. 

“Yes…of course” Tomo blushed as he moved aside and let Shannon in. “Look…just forget about what I said earlier” He rushed out before Shannon could say anything else. “I know that you have a lot going on right now and you didn’t need me to add more to your plate and…” 

“Are you done?” Shannon grinned as he walked up to Tomo, cupped both sides of his face and kissed him. “I love you too and I’m sorry that I tried to push you away because trust me I want you by my side more than anything in the world as I fight this” 

“I…um…you do?” Tomo questioned, shocked at the admission of love from the man he was hopelessly in love with. 

“Don’t seem so shocked” Shannon said as he continued to smile up at Tomo. “We’ve both know how we feel about each other for a long time but neither of us had the balls to do anything about it” He explained as he grabbed Tomo’s hand and led him towards the bedroom. “You do still love me don’t you? He teased as he pinned his soon to be naked lover to the wall. “You know that you can’t take it back now” His grin returned as he leaned up and kissed Tomo good and dirty before taking his hand and leading him back towards the bedroom. 

The sex that night was magical because it wasn’t just about having sex, it was about making love and the exploration of bodies and emotions that had never been experienced before. They both knew they had a long road ahead of them, knew that there were going to be roadblocks that alone they probably wouldn’t be able to withstand, but together through the strength and the love that they shared they would get through anything life put in their way. 

The End…for now.


End file.
